the GazettE- Remember The Urge

the GazettE : Remember the Urge would be their latest hit. We hope that it'll be the best of Jrock music ;)

Missing School tho, eh?

I don't know why but I'm feeling quite.......missing school? o_o"

Nobody actually miss being in school, we students just miss our friends ne *nods like a crazy man*


Mann! I miss my friends *sighs*

Boredommmmmmmmmmm

Going Back hometown =)

Yea!!

Finally I'll be goin back for Raya~

The place where there's unlimited WiFi supply!

Seriously thats what I want the most there


My things are ready though I haven't got my bath yet XD

Etoooo..... I bought two comics last night; Bersamamu di Ros Biru and another comic which I don't remember what XD

My mom smashed those comics last night TToTT


Mom you really shouldn't do thatttttttttt

Love vs. Like

Never leave the one you LOVE for the one you LIKE

Because the one you LIKE will leave you for the one they LOVE

The one you LIKE will give you goosebumps; the one you LOVE will sent you shivers down your spine.

When the one you LIKE cries, you'll feel sorry for them. But when the one you LOVE cries, you cry for them.

True LOVE doesn't have an ending because true LOVE never ends.

How To Be A Perfect Girlfriend [YouTube]

You should...

1) Never make fun of him

2) Never expect gifts when he goes away. He probably through goes a lot buying one for you.

3) He wants to kiss you. Give him hints to let him know it's okay.

4) Hug him whenever you see him, it'll show you love him.

5) If he tells you not to get a gift for him, make one. It would mean much more to him

6) Kiss him on the cheek if you're with him and his friends, it shows that you belong to him

7) Impress his mum, as in being really nice when he brings you home.

8) Don't expect him to pay for you, eventhough when he definitely will.

9) Act like you're stronger even though you're not, it'll make you look cute

10) Listen to his music, even if you don't like to. He'll love that you're trying to love the stuff he likes.

11) If he play sports, ask to go to one of his games. He'll show off to impress you.

12) Hang out in his/your house. He don't want to go to the movies every weekend and vice versa.

13) Take walks and hold hands. He wants to be close.

14) Id he does something cheesy for you, don't make fun of him.Just giggle and say: You're cute

15) Never let him win I LOVE YOU MORE game.

16) Make an inside jokes. Use it whenever things get quiet.

17) Invite him to go places. He wants to be with you.

18) Get him a "Just Because" gift. "Just Because" is something you thought he like.

19) Text him everyday, or call. Texting is cooler.

20) Ask him approval on things you think would bother him, like giving your number to other men. Even though you don't need to, it shows that you're his alone.

21) Come out with and "Our Song". It should be something that reminds you of him.

22) Don't just talk about yourself, ask him about himself too.

23) Snuggle with him on your/his couch when watching movies.

24) Be his only one. And let him be your only one.

So that's it, girls. But I remind you not to do such things that are forbidden for you. Think back, you have your own limits. Love him, but don't exceed the limit.

Untitled Poem by Me

I was cleaning my room before leaving for the whole week [Well what do you want from boarding school anyway （￣ー￣）]

And I found a poem I wrote.

I don't quite remember when and why I wrote it, but I think it was before I dated this guy （￣へ￣）

It is a silly poem, but I'm proud to show it off  *dancing* ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ

If you were mine, I'll be the first

To see your bright smile

If you were mine, I'll be sure

To be by your side; day and night

If you were mine, I'll make sure

You won't hunger, suffer

I won't let you cry

Because I'll be here

To wipe your tears and cheer you up

I'll make sure that your angelic face

will be filled up with bright smiles

and never, even a teardrop cry

If you were mine, I'll knock you door

Just to say hi, I love you

Just to know that you're fine

Just to know that you're mine

If you were mine, I'll be the happiest person

I'll make sure your wishes come true

I'll make sure you'll fly in my love

But I know, you're not mine

You have your own love

You have your own lover

A lover that sees your smile

A lover that you hug

A lover that you love

I'm crying here, oh yes I am

Because I wanna be in your hug

the way you hug her

Because I wanna feel your love

the way you love her

I did hug you

And we did love each other

But it's a dream; you won't even know it

And I'm hoping from far away

From here

That you will be happy; everyday

every time the clock ticks

Because my love

Because my heart

Because my soul

is always there for you

And until now, I don't even remember anything about this poem!

the GazettE - UNCERTAIN SENSE Lyrics

I feel... even if there is not a soul here
Your Dazzling light

Even if time forgot you
Nothing needs to change
Even if you lose sight of oneself
Nothing changes
Be yourself...
Live for oneself this time

The thing which you left...
The words of your last
All which you loved
I believe that nothing changes
The thing which you left
The words of your last
All fact and the truth
Nobody can take it away from me

I feel...Your breathing and pulse
Disease? Can't you see that light?
Teach it...Can only i see it?
Why do you watch me with such a sad eyes?

Till this darkness disappears
I write your name in the sky
Surely you should be angry
I understand it...Sorry

The thing which you left
The words of your last
All facts an the truth
Teach it...
Can't you see that light?

I feel...Your breathing and pulse
Disease? Can't you see that light?
Teach it...Can only i see it?
Why do you watch me with such a sad eyes?

The thing which you left
The words of your last
All which you loved
I believe that nothing changes
the thing which you left
The words of your last
All facts an the truth
Nobody can take it away from me

You was crying over my corpse
I died on that day...in your chest
You was crying over my corpse
I died...

the GazettE - BREAK ME lyrics

Psyche toke dashi Frozen furue saki dasu Flower
Sensitivity sen kirete kurikaesu Split

Cold wind disappoints me
My nervous bad habit
The vicious circle doesn't stop

Break me, Break me
Please kill me out at your beautiful hand
Break me, Break me
Before I break your mind
Break me, Break me
Please kill me out at your beautiful hand
Break me, Break me
Before I dirty your mind

Always wasuretakute
Always nigeba wa nakute
In my head karamiawanu kuro to shiro ga ugomeku

Byo kizami no hari ga mimi no oku de Delay
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 
Without cease nagaredasu
Mazari awanu Vision

Cold wind disappoints me
My nervous bad habit
The vicious circle doesn't stop

Break me, Break me
Please kill me out at your beautiful hand
Break me, Break me
Before I break your mind
Break me, Break me
Please kill me out at your beautiful hand
Break me, Break me
Before I dirty your mind
Break me, Break me

Please delete my existence
I pray for your happiness
Before I kill your mind

Please kill me out at your beautiful hand

the GazettE - VORTEX Lyrics [Romaji and Translation]

the GazettE - VORTEX

Lyrics - Ruki

[Romaji]
Nidoto kesenai kurai ni kizu wo fukame teiku Malice

Iki sugita atama wo eguri tobikau Bug ni Noise wo

Tsukaisute no ai to shitte ura reta karakuri
Tanjun meikai buzamana ashitada'tte
Rikai shi teru jitende de owa~tsu teru

Yugimi mawaru Vortex of beats
Hakike no naka de odoru

Right before my eyes
The world that decayed
Right before my eyes
You murder somebody

Too tragic to stay with you

Guruguru to mawaru Loop no naka de
Kikai shikake no sora ni kiete yuku

[Countless Bug]
Zaratsuita shita de yoku wo nazotte
Stolid na Dummy ni yume wo misereba
Kudarouga etsu ni kawaru sa

I don't wanna become the fuckin garbage like you

Vortex of industry

Shut the fuck up jack ass

The only thing you really know about me is...
You can't take my soul away from me
The only thing you really know about me is...
I can't answer your silly wish

Yugami mawaru Vortex of Beats

Hakike no naka de odoru

Right before my eyes

The world that decayed

Right before my eyes

You murder somebody

kurai kurai yami ni ochite yuku
[Countless Bug]

Yogore naki koe mo doro ni mamire
Ima ja sono uso ni mi wo nageru

[Countless Bug]
Scrap ni nareba kachi wa kieru
Sungeki no namida wa sono mune ni todokanai

Guruguru to mawaru Loop no naka de

Kikai shikake no sora ni kiete yuku

[Countless Bug]

Zaratsuita shita de yoku wa nazotte

Stolid no Dummy ni yume wo misereba

Kudarouga etsu ni kawaru sa

I don't wanna become the fuckin garbage like you

[Translation]

Malice that keep deepening the wounds so they can't be erased for the second time

Hollow out the head with too many tones to make noise for bugs flying past each other

Disposable love and knowingly sold trickery

"(To put it) simple and clearly its a clumsy tomorrow"

It's ending in a point of understanding

Vortex of Beats turning into distortion

Dancing in nausea

Right before my eyes

The world that decayed

Right before my eyes

You murder somebody

Too tragic to stay with you

Inside a loop turning round and round

Keep disappearing into a mechanical sky

[Countless Bug]

Tracing greed with a rough tongue

If I showed the dream with a stolid dummy

Pain would turn into self-satisfaction

I don't wanna become a fuckin' garbage like you

Vortex of industry

Shut the fuck up jackass

The only thing you really know about me is

You can't take my soul away from me

The only thing you really know about me is

I can't answer your silly wish

Keep falling into dark, dark, darkness

[Countless Bug]

Even a voice without dirt stains in mud

Now throw yourself into those lies

[Countless Bug]

If you become scrap your value will disappear

The tears of an act won't reach that chest

I don't wanna become a fuckin' garbage like you

[Credits given to kazukokun.blogspot.com]

IMY

Ne.. I've joined boarding school, which have made me busier day by day.

One of the reasons I joined it because, for me it's the only reason to rid you out of my mind.

I hate dorm. I really hate it.

But it's the only way to get rid of your image.

I try to enjoy my life here, without noticing that day by day I started to miss you again.

Damn it. 5 months have passed and I'm still stuck in the same image.

And you. You must be happy right now.

Being beside your true love, being with your dream.

But me, this dump girl, still thinking of you.

Just let me see your face and I think I'll be ok later.

And by then I probably won't remember who you are.

We both are happy with our decisions.

I am happy. I am.

But somehow

I hate to say this but

I miss you.

I miss having you back

But I do know,

That first love never dies. It never dies at all.

You should be with her.

You should be.

We are different, way too different.

Even if I own you now, I know I'll lose later.

So yeah, it's better to lose earlier rather than loving more and lose more later.

You should be happy. You should

I think its me who's missing too much

Too much that I can't found a reason to hate you.

But you do lie to me.

You lied to me when I'm giving my whole trust to you

I trusted you

I told you secrets I never even told my bestfriends.

Nehh.

Perhaps it's me being the crazy one; chasing out for somebody who already has 'his special one"

So till now.

I will try to ignore you

Pretend not to think about you

Not even thinking about you.

Kolej Abdillah Sports Day 2011

Kolej Sports Day 2011
Been a tiring day of course..
And not offensing but this time, the sports day were kinda lame..
Maybe because Lions are no longer the champion [heheh]
But personally, its boring.
Better do something much more better next year

Some of the pics that I took personally just now...

LIONS on the field

Other teams on field

 Springboks

 Springboks

 Allblacks

Springboks

So we have a mini parade, where I brought along my tiniest Teddy bear which happens to land beside my school bag this morning before I go to school.

After the parade, we headed off to our tent which were located on the grass-field LoL

 Allblacks

 Lions

 Allblacks

Lions

And so the race started =]

 Lions

 Lions

 Lions

 Lions

 Wallabies

 Lions

Wallabies

And we also have some 'sukaneka' for the teachers,ustazs,ustazahs,senseis [mianhae for my own language]

 Sensei Satoko Kabayashi

 Cikgu Maimunah

 Sensei Siti Rehana

 Miss Afidah Ahmat

Cikgu Maimunah

The last result would be ::
1st :: Springboks
2nd :: Wallabies
3rd :: Lions
4th :: Allblacks

Facebook Cool Graphics for Status, Wallpost, Comments etc. :: LOVE GRAPHICS

Credits are given again to FACEBOOKCRAZE.COM
I can't stop using these graphics so I thought of putting it here for my use later.

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_♥__♥_____♥__♥___ Put This
_♥_____♥_♥_____♥__ Heart
_♥______♥______♥__ On Your
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___♥____\_____♥___ You’ve Had
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______ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HAPPY VALENTINES♥♥♥
_______♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥DAY♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
_________♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
____________♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
______________♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
________________♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
_________________♥♥♥♥♥♥
__________________♥♥♥♥
__________________♥♥
__________________♥








That's all. Thank you!

Facebook Cool Graphics for Status, Wallpost, Comments etc.

Credits are given to FACEBOOK CRAZE.

Big Superman Logo Graphic

──────▄▄▄▄▄███████████████████▄▄▄▄▄──────
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─▀██▄▄██████████████████▄▄▄─────────▄██▀─
───▀█████████████████████████▄────▄██▀───
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──────────────▀████▀▀▀████▀──────────────
────────────────▀███▄███▀────────────────
───────────────────▀█▀───────────────────

Big Skull Logo Graphic

_________uu$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$uu__________
_________u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u_________
________u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u________
_______u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u_______
_______u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$u_______
_______u$$$$$$”___”$$$”___”$$$$$$u________
_______”$$$$”______u$u_______$$$$”________
________$$$———u$u_______u$$$________
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_________”$$$$uu$$$___$$$uu$$$$”_________
__________”$$$$$$$”___”$$$$$$$”__________
____________u$$$$$$$u$$$$$$$u____________
_____________u$”$”$”$”$”$”$u______________
__uuu________$$u$_$_$_$_$u$$_______uuu__
_u$$$$________$$$$$u$u$u$$$_______u$$$$_
__$$$$$uu______”$$$$$$$$$”_____uu$$$$$$__
u$$$$$$$$$$$uu____”””””____uuuu$$$$$$$$$$
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_”””______””$$$$$$$$$$$uu_””$”””___________
___________uuuu_””$$$$$$$$$$uuu___________
__u$$$uuu$$$$$$$$$uu_””$$$$$$$$$$$uuu$$$__
__$$$$$$$$$$””””___________””$$$$$$$$$$$”__
___”$$$$$”______________________””$$$$””__

Cute and Girly Love Graphic

-.▀██▀
──██────(▒)(▒)
──██───(▒)(♥)(▒)
─▄██▄▄█─(▒)(▒)
───.───▄███▄
───.──███─███─(▒)(▒)
───.──▀██▄██▀(▒)(♥)(▒)
───.────███───(▒)(▒)
───.─────── ▀██─██▀
───.──────── ██─██─(▒)(▒)
───.──────── ▀█▄█▀(▒)(♥)(▒)
───.──────────▀───(▒)(▒)
───.────────────██▀▀▀█
───.──(▒)(▒)──────██▄█──(▒)(▒)
───.─(▒)(♥)(▒)─────██▀█─(▒)(♥)(▒)
───.──(▒)(▒)──────██▄▄▄█(▒)(▒)

Teddy Bear

__________,-~-. _.–._.-~-,
_________/ .- ,’_______`-. \
_________\ /`__________\’/
_________ /___’a___a`___\
_________|____,’(_)`.____ |
_________\___( ._|_. )___ /
__________\___ .__,’___ /
__________.-`._______,’-.__
________,’__,’___`-’___`.__`.
_______/___/____V_____\___\_
_____,’____/_____o______\___`.__
___,’_____|______o_______|_____`.
__|_____,’|______o_______|`._____|
___`.__,’_.-\_____o______/-._`.__,’
_________/_`.___o____,’__\_
__.””-._,’______`._:_,’_______`.,-””._
_/_,-._`_______)___(________’_,-.__\
(_(___`._____,’_____`.______,’___)_)
_\_\____\__,’________`.____/.___/_/

Rude Hand Graphic

……..…../´¯/)……….. (\¯`\
…………/….//……….. …\\….\
………../….//………… ….\\….\
…../´¯/…./´¯\………../¯ `\….\¯`\
.././…/…./…./.|_……_| .\….\….\…\.\..
(.(….(….(…./.)..)..(..(. \….)….)….).)
.\…………….\/…/….\. ..\/……………./
..\…………….. /……..\……………..…/
….\…………..(………. ..)……………./

Tank Graphic

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▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂
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◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤

Two Love Graphic

___d88888888b_____d88888888b
__d88?____d88b___d88b____`88b
_d8?_________d888b_________`8b
_8b_________________________d8
_b8__________________d8888b___d8888b
__d8________________d8?__d8b_d8b__`8b
___8ba_____________d8?_____d8b_____`8b
____`8da___________8b_______________d8
______`Y8b__________d8_____________8b
________`8b__________8ba_________ad8
__________`88_____88__`8da_____ab8?
____________8b___d8_____`Y8___8Y?
_____________`b_d?________`8_8?
______________`8?__________`8?
_______________”____________”

Dolphin Graphic

__________________ ##
_________________###*
______________.*#####
_____________*######
___________*#######
__________*########.
_________*#########.
_________*#######*##*
________*#########*###
_______*##########*__*##
_____*###########_____*
____############
___*##*#########
___*_____########
__________#######
___________*######
____________*#####*
______________*####*
________________*####
__________________*##*
____________________*##
_____________________*##.
____________________.#####.

Hope it helps!

My Speech :: Pilihanraya Ketua Pengawas

Hey~
Been a while since I post something here..
And god thanks I just done my speech just now,
Thought of sharing it here, since its so hard to find a malay highschool speech in Google =o="
So here it is!

Assalamualaikum WBT, salam sejahtera dan salam Satu Malaysia saya ucapkan kepada guru yang bijaksana dan tampan bergaya, ___________ serta rakan-rakan saya yang saya kagumi dan sanjungi sekalian. Alhamdullillah, saya panjatkan rasa kesyukuran ke atas Tuhan kerana memberi kelapangan dan keizinan untuk saya memberi ucapan pada pagi yang indah ini.

            Seperti mana yang kita ketahui, hari ini adalah hari pilihanraya sekolah bagi memilih ketua pengawas yang baru. Saya mengucapkan jutaan penghargaan kepada _______ yang telah mencalonkan saya sebagai Ketua Pengawas bagi tahun 2011. Pilihanraya yang diadakan ini juga adalah untuk mengasah bakat kepimpinan pelajar kerana adalah tidak adil bagi pelajar jika bakat memimpin tidak diserlahkan di samping kita mahu mengenal pasti kewibawaan pelajar tersebut. Bagi pendapat saya, pilihanraya ini adalah satu daripada usaha untuk mendedahkan kepada pelajar tentang proses pilihanraya yang sering dibaca oleh pelajar dalam mata pelajaran Sejarah disamping merasai sendiri amalan demokrasi sebenar.

            Saya sebagai calon ingin memperkenalkan diri saya sendiri kepada hadirin sekalian. Nama saya ialah ________ dari kelas _____. Saya ingin melanjutkan pelajaran dalam bidang jurusan undang-undang dan bercita-cita untuk menjadi seorang ahli politik.

                                                                                                                      

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan yang dihormati sekalian,

            Sesungguhnya saya merasakan bahawa saya layak untuk memegang jawatan sebagai Ketua Pengawas bagi tahun 2011 kerana saya ialah seorang yang berdedikasi dan berprinsip tinggi dalam malaksanakan kewajiban saya sebagai seorang pengawas. Oleh itu pada tahun ini saya ingin menyatakan bahawa saya sudah bersedia untuk memikul tanggungjawab yang lebih berat dan mencabar iaitu tanggungjawab menjadi seorang Ketua Pengawas pada tahun 2011.

Warga dewan yang dikasihi sekalian,

            Jika saya menjadi Ketua Pengawas bagi tahun 2011, saya akan memastikan bahawa tahap disiplin pelajar-pelajar di sekolah ini meningkat, sejajar dengan gelaran _____ sebagai ’Sekolah Kluster Kecemerlangan’.

            Saya akan memastikan bahawa bilangan pelajar yang datang lewat ke sekolah berkurangan. Saya dan pengawas-pengawas sekolah akan memberi markah dimerit yang sewajarnya kepada pelajar yang lewat hadir ke sekolah. Di samping itu, saya akan memastikan keadaan di luar pintu pagar sekolah terkawal dan tidak sesak agar murid-murid tidak mempunyai masalah untuk keluar dari kenderaan masing-masing kerana selama ini saya mendapat tahu bahawa murid-murid memakan masa untuk memasuki sekolah hanya kerana masalah kesesakan lalu lintas yang berlaku punca daripada kelalaian ibu bapa pelajar sendiri!

            Perkara disiplin yang kedua yang ingin saya perbetulkan jika saya menjadi Ketua Pengawas 2011 ialah dengan mewajibkan pelajar-pelajar sekolah ini untuk menuruti kod berpakaian sekolah seperti yang telah ditetapkan sejak dahulu lagi. Saya mendapati bahawa pelajar-pelajar sekolah ini masih mengambil arahan kod pakaian secara sambil lewa. Oleh itu para hadirin sekalian, jika saya memenangi pilihanraya pada hari ini, saya akan melakukan pemeriksaan yang dibantu oleh pengawas-pengawas lain dari kelas ke kelas pada setiap hari untuk memastikan kod pakaian sekolah dituruti dan dihormati.

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan,

            Kebelakangan ini kita telah dikejutkan dengan berita yang mengatakan bahawa telah didapati seorang warga luar sekolah telah memasuki kawasan sekolah tanpa kebenaran dalam keadaan mabuk dan berbahaya kepada warga ___. Justeru tuan-tuan dan puan-puan yang saya hormati sekalian, saya mencadangkan agar pihak sekolah termasuk pengawas-pengawas sekolah mengadakan kawalan yang lebih ketat untuk menjamin keselamatan warga ___. Setiap penjuru sekolah akan diperiksa untuk menghindari tempat masuk selain dari pintu pagar sekolah yang akan dikawal oleh pengawal yang terlatih. Sesiapa yang berhasrat untuk memasuki kawasan ___ harus terlebih dahulu memberi My-Kad mereka kepada pengawal ____. Kenapa? Agar kita dapat menjejak individu yang memasuki ___ andai kata kejadian yang tidak diingini berulang kembali. Langkah ini juga dapat menghindari kemasukan anjing-anjing liar yang sering dilihat berkeliaran di kawasan ___ dan mengugat keselamatan warga ___ khasnya.

Para hadirin yang dimuliakan,

            Saya juga mencadangkan agar semua pengawas pada tahun ini dilatih secara fizikal dan mental. Ini kerana tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, saya lihat pengawas hanya dipilih berdasarkan keputusan peperiksaan yang memberangsangkan dan tahap kecergasan badan dan kekuatan mental tidak begitu diambil berat. Jika saya menjadi Ketua Pengawas tahun 2011, saya akan melancarkan ’Kem Pengawas Perkasa’ dimana pengawas-pengawas yang terpilih akan menjalani kehidupan persis tentera Malaysia. Mereka akan dilatih dan dipupuk dengan semangat setiakawan, tabah menghadapi cabaran atau tomohan, dan jatidiri. Golongan pengawas yang terpilih ini juga akan diajar cara hidup ’Survival’ seperti memasak dan menjahit. Dengan itu mereka secara tidak langsung akan menjadi pengawas yang berkebolehan dalam setiap aspek kehidupan.

Warga dewan sekalian,

            Sebelum saya mengakhiri ucapan saya, ingin saya tekankan sekali lagi bahawa saya bersedia untuk memikul tanggungjawab sebagai seorang Ketua Pengawas. Ingatlah janji saya bahawa saya berjanji akan menjalankan tugas saya dengan penuh dedikasi serta adil dan saksama. Saya juga sanggup bertanggungjawab sekiranya berlaku kesalahan di bawah pentadbiran saya andainya saya menjadi Ketua Pengawas. Mohon maaf sekiranya tersalah bahasa dan tutur kata, dan pilihlah saya sekiranya anda merasakan bahawa saya layak memikul jawatan tersebut. Sekian, terima kasih.

And so that's it!

And for the shaded part, it contains the name of my school so I think it shouldn't be expossed ^^

Happy Speeching!

Two More Hours of Gettin' Guitar Pro 6 =3="

Yeah.
As the title itself,
I'm downloading Guitar Pro 6 Demo.
Hope it does help me
I want to learn ALL the GazettE's songs!

2 hours left and these things.... :

...should all be MINE
Hohoho ^o^

Un-feeling-less

     These days were killing me. Not by works [Currently I haven't do a single homework out of 20+ homeworks I've got]

     I fought with my dad, scold my sister, being over-addicted to the internet and so on. How I wish I could say I'm sorry for everything I've done to them. But this ego in my heart burdens me, saying that I can do it later. Later and later it goes, now I've burden myself instead. My mind is blur. I don't know what to do, what to think about, and so on. Yes I do have lots and lots of things to do; homeworks, houseworks, laundry, guitar practice, blablabla. But my mind is empty. And I don't know what to do with it.

     Writing this I thought I'll tell you every single problem I had. It's the easies way to relieve my stress about this 'unknown' disease. I couldn't tell my family nor my closest friends because I just feel like...Humph. It's hard to be the type of girl who can't say what's wrong with them! Oh ya, for the time being I call my disease, 'Perubahan Hormon Remaja'. Weird right?

     My first problem. Hmm... Dad maybe? I always fought with my dad these days. I feel like he's somehow trying to mock me and yes, we end up in a real, big mouth fight. He'll scold me on being a bad child, but somehow I did try my best to make him the happiest dad on earth. I did. But he keep on comparing me to other people. My neighbor, my cousin, everything. For me it is insulting. Really insulting. Me is Me. Nur Afiqah Izzati. There is your DNA in my blood, dad. You can't stop it anyhow. I'm your daughter and that is it. Sometimes I do  wish that I could live without him, like my friends.  But thinking back to it, there tons of children out there, waiting to have a dad to hug them, and I'm lucky to have one. But why didn't I like it? I fought with him since before I entered preschool. See that? Preschool. Huh...I hope our relationship would be better, dad

     Friends. Huh. I really love them but somehow I do wish I'm alone with no one else. I wanna be alone sometimes. Bad friends yeah I have them. Or perhaps I shouldn't call them friends at all. All they do is saying bad words at me. I know you hate me but why are you busy of my life?! It's my life, you hate me, so get the *tuut* out of my life and *tuut* yourself out! I just don't get it why they really busy-bodying about my life that they hate. Yeah they just jealous perhaps. So you think I got a good life? Think and think again! Or perhaps you don't even have a brain!

    As for love. Hmm...I want to leave him tons of times before. But a friend of mine said :: Don't call it love when you can easily let go :: I do take those words. I won't leave him. For a stupid girl like me, I never been in a serious relationship and this is my very first time. So I'm aiming for a months of relationship. But what am I thinking? Love should last forever, not months. As for him, why is it hard for him to show his love a bit? Or perhaps he had lost his love towards me. We rarely talk. I can't get his phone number. And I do wonder, I do think he's still in contact with her in phones cause they knew each other's phone number. So conclusion? I need to talk to him.

     Problems are remained problems unless you work for it.

     

     If anyone do read this, please pray for my future, as I do need some support. Now.

Just Editing :P

I need a picture for my mixpod.
Blah blah blah

Invisible Gift

Hmm...
A friend of mine [or a sister, because I always hope to]
She tag me in her note...
I'm posting this not to embarrass you, sister...
I want this note, to be in my mind

"GazettE is a visual kei band that I love one, of my top favorites. Their music is wonderful and a gift to everyone .Each members are not only a beautiful face but they also have talents that no one can deny. I love this band because of their music and talents. For me their music is a form of art with a heart in every words in their songs, with every melody you will hear from their songs all of it is an art for me.

I created a group GazettE WORLD COMMUNITY IN FACEBOOK I just want to meet and gather some Gazefans.

But what I found out is a family, my very own family I called Gaze family. It is funny to think that the group I created will be a family for me. Each and everyone of them means so much to me they are my happiness and my sadness and I'm proud of all of them even though I don't personally know them all. Even if I haven't meet them personally I love them all.

Oka-san: I know your concern about me when you found out my situation and even though I'm childish sometimes you understand it. You comfort me when I'm down. It's like your my mom somehow.

Yamz(my soup): Even though I keep calling you "my soup" your still there for me when I am down. *Actually your just chatting with me because literally you can't be really be here with me because your miles away from me* but seriously I can feel that you care. Thank you Yamz.

My sisters:

Suzuki: Even though your the only one who don't call me onee-san and you keep calling me on my name it's fine, I really like the way you think about GazettE ^^ you know what I mean. Keep up the good work.

Hau: My closest and first sister my first Gazefamily member my favorite. You know almost all my secret because your the closest to me and you really make me happy I like the way you think and you say what is in your mind and what you feel and you know how much I like those kinds of people. Please stay what you are because your one of the most wonderful person I ever met.

Kame: I like the way you think and we both agree on many things. I don't know you well but I hope you will give me a chance to know you more.

Sa-chan: I think you don't recognize me as your older sister so just take care.

Kuri: Your not that close to me too but like what I told to Kame if you will give me a chance I still want to know you more.

Miyuki: I wish I can take all your pain away but right now it is impossible even though I haven't meet you personally I'm really and sincerely concern about you I hope I can see you someday so I will have a chance to make you feel how much I care for you.

To all my sisters and to oka-san and soup: thank you for coming into my life and welcome to my life. Even though we are miles away from each other and we haven't meet each other personally I really treat all of you my family maybe we don't share same blood and flesh but in my heart I treat, care and love all of you as my own family .

To all my friends:I'm sorry for being me I won't pretend to be someone I know I'm not so sorry. Happiness is between what will people think of you and your own happiness. I chose my happiness that is I will stay who I am, I know I need to change for me to become a better person but I will not pretend and I won't let anyone dictate me to become someone I'm not. I accept all of my friends for who they are and what they are. I don't want to judge someone according to their race, religion etc....

To The GazettE: I know you guys will never read this but I still mention you guys. Thank you for your music and for inspiring many people and make them change their lives (yes it is true you do change lives). And most important thank you because of your invisible gift it is my Gaze family although I made my own fate your a part of it. Because of your band I meet my new friends, meet my Gaze family I found new wonderful things life has to offer. The things I might not see if I haven't know GazettE.

For those people who hurt me and I hurt: I'm sorry for everything.

this is my suicide note"

Dear sister,

I'm not good at words.

But I want you to know, that you're a special friend for me

You're determined, and those sadness, 

You never show it like most of us  will do

You're a strong girl

Please don't hurt yourself,

Please don't...

Kill yourself

I know we just met,

For how month?

A month maybe?

Just a month,

But you DID make changes in me

You make me realize

That life is what we want it to be

I learn it from you, sister

You teach me more things I've never realized

But now my lips are closed

I can't think of anything

Except for

The only way to stop you from doing those things

You think you can escape all these by killing yourself?

Think again sister

God allow you to live again,

even after several time trying to suicide

Praise Him, sister

Don't hurt yourself and make Him mad

He loves you

I love you

We love you

Sister